PARENTING CLASSES
Written by Donna L. Mallen, Esq., Certified Legal Specialist, Family Law (Certified by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization)

We often see orders from the Family Court that require the parties to attend parenting classes.  What does the Court have in mind in making such an order?  One common reason is to refocus the parents’ attention on the needs of the children.  When the adults feel overwhelmed by the unsettling events in their lives, a parenting class drawing their attention to the needs of their children during the divorce can help them re-think their own behaviors.

Whether by court order or not, taking a parenting class can give us tools to deal with our children’s problems and help us feel in charge of our own futures during a divorce.  Parenting classes in San Diego County directed toward parents going through divorce can be found through the Court Website and on the links from our website. There are also some classes to be found on the internet.

Life Matters (http://www.lifematters.com/online_classes.asp) is a website in Santa Rosa, California, that offers  on-line class on Parenting Together Through Divorce, Respectful and Effective Parenting,  Parenting Young Children and Parenting Teenagers.  The classes include homework for the parents and a message board monitored by a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Therapist.  A certificate of completion is issued, which has been accepted by most courts.

Sometimes, in court pleadings or at the Family Court Services mediation session, one parent expresses doubt that the other parent can properly handle parenting alone. The other may be accustomed to relying on the “primary” caretaker to make the day-to-day decisions for the children.   Classes in child development can give the less experienced parent an understanding of the children’s needs and appropriate behavior at different age-levels.  Even the parent who considers himself or herself to be the one who took charge of the parenting during the marriage can learn new things, or reinforce techniques that have worked in the pat.   Learning about the different stages of child development can give a parent confidence and ensure that the children will be safe and well-nurtured regardless of which parent has custody for the day.

Parents who have devoted themselves to becoming good at their parenting jobs have naturally turned to books, classes, magazines, and discussions with other parents for advice on the needs of their children.  Understanding child development can be interesting, both for the “beginner” and the more experienced parent.  If you don’t feel confident in your parenting skills, look for a class in child development.  You can bring yourself up to par with the parent who has been in charge, and you will enjoy discovering about your child.

A great website about child development is Just in Time Parenting Information at http://www.parentinginfo.org/newsletters.html.  There, you can find articles assembled from different state university extension offices, giving  month-by-month information, in English and Spanish, about children from newborns to age five years.

There are also books to read  and local classes that you can attend in person (some with your child) when you get “hooked” on parenting.  There, you will meet other parents and have fun talking about the joys and problems of being a parent.

Learning about your role as a parent is a win-win effort.  Your children will win because you will gain knowledge and skills that will help you become a better parent.  You will win because you will be more confident in your abilities to make parenting decisions, and you will enjoy learning to recognize your children’s growth and development as they move through the milestones of their childhood.